I'm not sure if you believe in god. Maybe you believe in Buddha? Or Allah? Whatever you choose to call that one big good thing... i have this theory about them. I think that when we're messing up, i mean really messing up. They have this way of putting road blocks in the way so that once we've screwed things up and hit rock bottom they are what we turn to because lets face it, what else have we got left? Who's going to love us when we've pushed everything stable and good away. I'm guessing that answer is god.. I'm not preaching, i promise you i wont be doing that. I'm just thinking alot right now. Things need to change...and i guess i'm the only one who can do that huh?

In other news, being an adult sucks. i pay for everything.. and screw freedom. When i'm not working or in class i'm doing laundry and cleaning. i'm working a double shift tomorrow and i'm begging people to let me work that night for them so i have some extra money on my pay check so i can pay off bills. Its horrible. I had to ask my mom for money this week, that blew. So i'm complaining, which again is Not a attractive feature. i need to go to sleep so i can get up in 5 hours. Night night.