Cry. Crying. Cried.

i've spent my entire 18 years trying to avoid emotion. i hate crying, its just not something i "do". i'm to proud to sit around and mope about "what could have been". i wont do it and i dont want to. I dont want to be weak and put at other peoples disposal. Its terrifying. Before this month, the last time i'd really honestly cried was 4th of July.

I've cried twice this month. Once over some boy, which totally wasnt worth it but being to proud to admit it i told myself it was because i was more pissed then hurt. If i'm going to be honest with myself its because i actually trusted he wouldnt hurt me. He pinkyswore he wouldn't break my heart, well... that was a mistake huh? He was a misjudgment, but life goes on. The second was over the crappy week i'd had last week.

Please dont take this blog the wrong way, i'm not asking for pity, i hate pity. I hate when people bitch and moan and cry. Its actually a major pet peeve of mine. I'm just reflecting on all this junk going on in my head i guess. Anyways. i hope your having a good day.