To you.

I hate looking at people and saying "i dated HIM?" or "i kissed Them?!". I hate the "what was i thinking?"... i hate it because i feel pity for that person. I feel horrible having a thought like that because as much as i dont want to admit it, the person i left behind is still a person. They still breathe, walk and talk. They are still very real even though i refuse to admit it. Even though i put them in the farthest part of my mind, i know some where they are doing more then sitting and staring at walls like i imagine.

I guess what i'm really getting at here is i dont want you to be one of those people. I want you here, next to me every single day. I want to be reassured that your just as human as i am and i never want to push that out of my mind. Because in this weird, shoot me in the face way i'm crazy about you. I love the way you make me angry but can kiss me and make things better just a quick...and i hate when you say your sorry, because i know you really are. And i hate that it takes you a half an hour to decide if your going some where, and when you get there your having the time of your life almost instantaneously. Or that we can sit in absolute silence, and everything we needed to talk about gone. You bug me, you drive me absolutely crazy 99 percent of the time and thats what i love. I'm not in love with you, i doubt that i'll ever be. But i can say i love the idea of a you.

i'm going for a walk. Have a nice day.